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My earlier “meditations”

The first time I remember starting paying attention to that “meditation” thing was around 13, when, heavily influenced by those very en vogue sensationalistic articles of the ’90s (swearing on their mother’s grave there were “mystical” people who could perform extraordinary feats through a lot of “meditation”, such as levitating objects or, even more impressive, their own bodies), I decided I also wanted to try to accomplish such stunts.

That’s how, along with a few friends who also shared the same will to become “mystics”, I’d try to “meditate” and see where it would lead me. I said “try”, as, at the time, I had no clue about how to properly do it. I’d rely on imitating those “mystics”, sitting on the floor with my legs crossed for minutes to no end, closing my eyes, and trying to strongly concentrate on my extreme desire to defy the laws of physics and levitate, even if just 1 mm off the ground.

My boring meditations

Needless to say, I was never able to levitate (not even a millimeter), so, I ended up forgetting about that crazy chapter in my young life. My next contact with the concept of “meditation” occurred just 10 years thereafter, when, during a time I was doing psychotherapy, meditation was recommended to me to alleviate my anxiety symptoms. I was also recommended a book on the topic, one of those with an audio CD. For a great chunk of time, that was the way I’d meditate, by following the CD instructions. However, it quickly became repetitive, as that CD was all I had then (this was before YouTube and other apps), and I even had already memorized the entire speech, word by word. As time went by – and feeling it wasn’t providing much help –, I gave up on the habit of meditating for the next decade plus.

My empty meditations

In early 2017, after watching quite a few Leo Gura videos (before he turned into some sort of an unhinged cult “guru”), and considering how much he insisted everyone should experience and cultivate the act of meditating in order to reach “enlightenment”, I decided to give it another try, following his instructions on the matter: I should meditate 20 minutes-a-day, where I was supposed to simply “not think on anything” (or so I interpreted the process that way). I followed it for a few months, however, I ended up getting frustrated, as I simply couldn’t “think about nothing” for more than a few seconds, no matter how hard I tried, leaving me even more anxious. After realizing it was being more counter-productive than helpful (meaning 20 minutes per day totally wasted), I quit once again.

My proper meditations

When I concluded, only a few years later, that perhaps we didn’t necessarily have to “not think” in order to properly meditate, and now armed with countless new audio options that allowed me to not have to go through repetitive meditation sessions ever again, I resumed the practice, firstly via YouTube and then via an app I meanwhile discovered and still use to this day (BRAINAURAL Binaural Beats).

What I discovered

With the assistance of the binaural beats provided by the app (using my earphones), I began finding out what meditation was ultimately about, after decades of misconception: for me, true meditation consists of – assisted by those auxiliary sounds – letting my thoughts go wherever they want to go (instead of fighting against the fruitless act of “stopping thinking”), allowing myself to sometimes get distracted (a natural part of any thinking human being), simply getting aware that I let myself get distracted and returning to the session as soon as I realize it (without becoming judgmental or upset), deeply going introspect, recognizing my past mistakes and the lessons I took from them, and analyzing if I’m on the right track to fulfill my dreams and goals.

How I normally meditate

Very often, I meditate in a “self-monologue” format, simply whispering my own thoughts to myself. And you can’t imagine the wonders this daily practice has been doing for me! Now I can confidently say I vividly recommend meditation to everyone!…

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