Table of contents

My religious phase

My first grasp of the Christian faith

Coming from a strongly and mostly Catholic country, I’ve had contact with Religion from very early on, especially the Christian faith. My parents have always been apatheists, i.e., they’ve never adhered to any religion and always lived in a secular manner, thus never imposing one on me. However, when it came to the rest of my paternal side of the family, things were quite different. During the first three years of my life (and even later on during weekends and holidays), I was raised by my paternal grandmother, who was fervently Catholic. At the time, I was strongly exposed to the concepts of “God”, “Jesus”, “Satan”, “Heaven”, “Hell”, “Bible”, and all the fundamentals of the Christian doctrine.

My (continuous) fear of God and Hell

Before I went to school and learned how to read, a cousin of mine from that side of the family – who happened to be a nun at the time –, offered me my first-ever Bible, most precisely a heavily illustrated one, which – supposedly – was more aimed toward children. As I couldn’t read, I’d just stare at the pictures (sometimes endlessly), and many of them were quite violent and graphic for a child, especially the ones from the Old Testament. I ended up growing up believing God was a violent, jealous, and vengeful being, not to mention my tremendous fear of sinning and being condemned to eternal hellfire. And the fact that the core message of Our Lady of Fátima – the local religious phenomenon here in the country – also focused a lot on this question (the chance of going to Hell) didn’t contribute a bit to the mental sanity of young “me”.

My first grasp of the Spiritist faith

When I was 17, I started having contact with some metaphysical alternatives to explain why we’re here, namely the more “spiritualist” creeds, especially Kardecism. I was explained that it was impossible for a benevolent God to condemn any of his “children” to eternal brimstone, and I started favoring the belief in reincarnation to expiate our faults over perpetual sentences.

My transition to religious skepticism

After many years of believing in the existence of God, a spiritual world, and reincarnation, and upon my first online contact with a more skeptical side regarding Religion, one that challenged all I believed in using logic, the scientific method, and reasoning, I ended up turning into a big skeptic myself at age 30.

Becoming a “neo-atheist”

Not only did I identify as an “atheist” now (as I stopped believing in any god), but I also considered myself an “antitheist”, as I now thought that not only the theistic belief didn’t make any sense but could also be even dangerous! I became one of those “evangelical atheists” of New Atheism, spending a good chunk of my time debating believers on online forums and Facebook groups, something that, quite frankly, I was very good at (competition wasn’t that strong anyway).

Slowing down…

After some time, I realized these debates were just a huge waste of said time. Additionally, I began noticing that even many of my fellow antitheists were letting themselves be contaminated by another version of Religion: “Wokism” (which is quite ironic, to say the least).

Becoming ignostic

Currently – and after stopping wasting time and letting people believe whatever nonsense they want to believe in (and this is valid for the Cultural Marxism-infected atheists as well) –, I consider myself agnostic (“I can’t know if there is any god or not…”), atheist (“… but I don’t believe there’s one”), and still antitheist (but to a way lesser degree compared to my old days, as I now believe the “Woke” faith can be far more pernicious than any belief in spirituality). However, I think I can sum up everything in just one word: “ignostic”, a position defending that the notion of “deity” is so poorly defined (if we ask 1000 people about what “God” is, we probably get 1000 different answers) that, mainly for that reason, trying to search for one is meaningless. To put it differently, whereas the atheist simply doesn’t believe in the existence of a god, the ignostic doesn’t even believe in the existence of the CONCEPT of a god!…

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